The Epic Hostess Fail...

I love being the hostess.  In fact,  it is one of my spiritual gifts.  I was hosting long before marriage and I will be hosting long into Heaven I'm sure.  I'll probably arrive and act like I already know my way around, taking people who arrived with me on tours.  Last night was the first night though that I failed.  I mean EPICLY failed.  Sure I've had some missteps in hosting: dinner was much later than planned because I didn't cook something long enough, had extra people show so portions were smaller, or forgot to invite someone but never have I had a disaster.   I blame paleo.  Brian and I have not had a bad meal in paleo so I assumed that inviting a dear friend, who is a boy, over for a meat based dinner would go off without a hitch.

Now when hosting I like to be adventurous. Some may call this a flaw, but I like to try new recipes for company.  Why not stick to the tried and true you may ask. Where is the fun in that?!?!?!  I now know where the fun in that is.... no bad meals, no apologizing, no hail mary's to try and redeem the night.  Last night I made paleo roast turkey and a brussels spout apple salad.  The turkey was okay nothing to write home about and the salad... well it was dry and tasteless.  I felt horrible.  I like cooking successes, its a pride thing.  So in an attempt to throw a hail mary I made chocolate chip cookies.  Not paleo friendly but REAL chocolate chip cookies.  Made them 1000 times, even in my sleep!

So I start adding ingredients when I realize I don't have butter.  First fail.  So our dear friend Matt runs down to his house and gets me butter.  On his way out our door he says:

"I'll do anything for homemade cookies!"

(Ok that may be the baking equivalent to "I'll be right back" in a horror movie.  Kiss of death!)

He comes back.  I add the butter.  Pop those puppies in the oven and off I go to play some Lord of the Rings Monopoly.  10 minutes later I go in grab the cookies (I like them a little gooey).  Boom they are GIANT and a weird color and super fluffy.  RED FLAG! Red flag! Matt takes a big bite asks for milk.  DANG IT! I tasted a small bite and SAND! The most dry cookie I think I've ever tasted.  Too much baking soda!  I don't know how I did it, but I did.  There was no redeeming this dinner party!

Some of our other friends came over to play Monopoly everyone ate a cookie.  Partially because they are nice and partially because they wanted to see if they were really as horrible as we were "selling" them.

Put it on the books....numero uno hostess fail!